just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
