if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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