I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
