Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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