Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
