oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
