I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
