So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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