this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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