great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
