This girl is more easily done than said...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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