No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
