She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
