K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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