im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
