I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
