Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
