I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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