...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
