i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
