Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
