I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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