He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
