and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
wow bdsm is so cute
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its liver damage thursday
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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