i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
