FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
