my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
