its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
