every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
