call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
