I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
