I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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