Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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