Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
