well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
