next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
