he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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