I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My cat gives me a boner
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
