Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
