i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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