i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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