just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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