Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
