I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
