Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
