Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
