yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
