I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
