Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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