I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
