He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
