That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
